Snider Rule #3 - Let's Have a Food Fight - No Thanks!

How to Ruin a Good Meal

My favorite time of the day ==> eating dinner with family and friends.  Lingering for over an hour eating, talking, discussing, sharing, and laughing. Time spent with people while sharing food is refreshing physically, emotionally and spiritually.

On the really good days, a wonderful aroma is lingering in the front yard and I catch it as soon as open the car door.  The sun is still up, the sky is blue and it is almost dinner time.  I'm getting hungry just typing this.

One thing that detracts from a pleasant meal is grumbling at the table.  It brings everyone down and deflates the person who spent time preparing the meal.  On the very rare occasion that Gina is too sick to cook, I can get apprehensive about planning a meal that everyone will like.  Back in the day with 11 people being fed each evening it was impossible to please everyone every night.  Most nights there was at least one person who wasn't going to enjoy the food as much as the rest of us.

Here is how Gina solved much of the angst and conflict around meals and children who could be picky eaters:

• Only prepare one meal that is shared by everyone
• You must taste every item on your plate. We want to develop an openness to new foods. Plus you learn that your taste change over time. What you once hated, you may enjoy when you get older.
• Only eat what you want and how much you want.  This is the number one way to avoid conflict at the table. With all our kids we rarely had any leftovers.
• Prepare a much loved dessert on nights we are testing a new recipe or it is challenging meal for several kids.  Gina was careful to put reasonable portions on the kids plate.  If she knew it was something they didn't like the portion would be small.  They had to finish their entire meal (or receive special grace) to get dessert.  This was an amazing way to motivate people to try something new.
• You don't have to eat anything you paid for!  Ok, ok I know what you are thinking but it was accepted by everyone. This was a special rule I came up with on the spur of the moment when being questioned by the kids about why my plate didn't have every item on it. I didn't use it very often but there are a couple things I hate, so I pulled rank on the kids.

I can't wait for dinner tonight!

Unsolicited Parenting Advice #1 - Get Off the Couch

It is always best to wait for someone to ask for advice before giving it. When I humble myself to ask for advice, it means I will listen.  

I'm gong to break that rule and tell you something that helped me be a better dad.  I don't remember who encouraged me in this but here it is...

Get off the couch.

• Get off the couch and go to your kids the next time you hear them arguing.  Don't call them over to you just get up and calmly walk over.
• Get off the couch and walk over to your wife and give her a hug.  Don't make her stop what she is working on and walk over to you.
• Get off the couch and get on the floor with your young children instead of sitting them next to you on the couch.
• Get off the couch and kick the ball around with your kids.

I was amazed at the difference it made in family relationships and it was good for my health at the same time.

Ok, I feel better now. That's off my chest.  I just get this way sometimes.

Tool of the Year 2012

All our kids share the same bathroom. When all 9 were living here it was a little crowded. Just imagine for a moment 9 people figuring out the shower schedule.  There was never a dull moment in the main hall and the negotiations could get heated.

One result of so many showers (besides a high electric bill for heating the water) - clogged drain.

This tool has saved me $100's . You need one of these!  It cost about $15.

Earlier this week I had a drain problem and got to rent this bad boy! ($50 for 4 hours)

It was fun and easy to use but it didn't solve the problem. So I bought a nicer version of my trusty hand powered unit.  I upgraded to the $30 model.

Trust me you need one of these.  You can thank me later.

Plumbing as a Family Project

Saturday night I decided it was time to tackle a long neglected project (there is more than one of those on my list).  The slow flowing kitchen cold water faucet needed to be repaired.  Actually, it needed to be fixed 5+ years ago. This was THAT project, you know the one you keep putting off because you just know it will take far longer and far more patience than you have at any given moment.  This was guaranteed to take at least 2 trips to the hardware store.

For some unknown reason, Saturday night was the night I started working. After spending over an hour wrestling with it I gave up discouraged. I mean beaten!  Two visits to the store and nowhere close to getting it done.  The only things accomplished was an inoperable faucet in the kitchen. Gina was relegated to getting water from the laundry room sink.

The next day I spent three or more hours getting it fixed.  I decided to have a good attitude and take a few pictures along the way.  

The first couple pictures tell you this is not good. Anytime a sawzall is required fro a plumbing project you are in big trouble.  I spoke with an experienced plumber and he told me sometimes that is the only way to get the old plumbing off.

Hanni and the Sawzall

Peter helping to saw off the old plumbing

Peter climbing under the sink to check things out

The new faucet is in place and running so much better.  Everyone is thankful it is finally working right.
What I learned:

• My wife is very patient to wait so long to get this project done
• I should have started this a few years ago. It wasn't that bad.
• I get less discouraged and frustrated if I make the project fun and include the kids.

I need to take a picture of the new faucet and add to the end of this post!

The Boys, The Girls, The Littles

We are not a normal family. That is not something we celebrate or aspired to.  It just happened. The fact we have nine kids is just the tip of the iceberg of our atypicality (a new word).  One part of our family culture is giving group names to sets of our children. 

The Boys - Silas, Paul, Nathan, and Luke 

The oldest four.  We started saying this after just the Paul was born.

The Girls - Ellie and Autumn

So stunned to have girls they were promptly named this to distinguish them from The Boys.

The Littles - Abe, Peter and Hanni

They aren't real fond of this name but of course the older siblings call them this all the time.

These pictures started me thinking about The Boys:

The Boys 2013 - Luke's Wedding

These guys spent hours upon hours playing together.  It is heart warming to seem them interact as adults.  After a few years of becoming individuals and adults they are once again able to hang out together and have fun.

Being a parent is hard work but these pictures show a little of the reward.