About a year ago we had just such a conversation. During Christmas everyone was at the house and the kids had a discussion where they came to the unanimous agreement on the very best Snider Family Rule. Did I mention it was UNANIMOUS - believe it or not everyone agreed. This doesn't happen often!
Now at that point our kids were 25, 23, 21, 20. 17, 16, 14, 11 and 8 years old. Some married, some with children of their own, some single living on their own, and others living at home. So it comes from those still living under our rules and those just looking back in the rear view mirror of our family life.
"WHAT WAS THE BEST SNIDER RULE?"
The answer:
The answer:
PLEASE STOP!!
Any person in the family could say these simple words and everyone - parents included had to stop.
Why would we ever have a rule like that and why was regarded so highly?
This picture helps put things in perspective:
This picture helps put things in perspective:
This was taken when we only had 5 children and Gina was 2 weeks from delivering number 6. Everybody looks happy but any parent taking a look at that crew can see that things could get out of hand pretty quickly if there was no rule of law.
The simple - Please Stop Rule helped our family respect and look out for each other. Some of the reasons it is a good rule:
The simple - Please Stop Rule helped our family respect and look out for each other. Some of the reasons it is a good rule:
- The youngest and weakest always had an outlet when they felt overwhelmed, picked on, or backed into a corner.
- All the children knew the day would come where they would benefit from this simple rule. So it was rigorously enforced by everyone.
- We (Scott & Gina) benefited because it created a pause where we could sort out what was going on and deal appropriately with the situation.
- The children could use it with us. For example if Scott was wrestling or tickling one of the kids they might be squirming around or even running away. Now you can't be sure if they want to keep playing or really want to stop. We all knew just say "Please Stop" and it would. Many times one of the younger kids would be wrestling with an older sibling and might start to whimper. The other kids would say - "say please stop and they have to stop".
What do you think?
Silas and Elisabeth were explaining this rule to us and it makes so much sense. They are already using it profitably in their own home. So simple. It made me say, "Why didn't I think of that?"
ReplyDeleteBest rule ever.
ReplyDeleteProfound. Wish I thought of it
ReplyDeleteI can't remember how we this rule came about. I am certain it was Gina's idea. She is a wise woman!
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